


Bloody tears

by va_di_pa



Series: Blutige Tränen [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Mirrors, Sadness, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23141299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/va_di_pa/pseuds/va_di_pa
Summary: Just because a person smiles and laughs does not mean that everything is all right with them. Some smiles are just a mask that breaks when you are alone.
Series: Blutige Tränen [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1663456





	Bloody tears

1 year, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, 8760 hours, 525600 minutes, 3153600 seconds.  
What do all these numbers have in common?  
All these numbers have one thing in common, because so often I tell myself that everything is alright, but I only lie to myself, because nothing is alright.  
I'm not okay at all.  
Everything used to be fine.  
Then my smile was real, my joy was not fake and my eyes were shining with joy of life.  
Yes, everything was still all right then.  
Now everything is no longer all right.  
Every day I fight for a smile on my face, play joy for my friends that could not be more wrong and my eyes make me wince every day anew.  
Every single day I look in the mirror, I look into eyes that look bluntly at me.  
Often I stand in front of the mirror for hours and ask myself what happened to me.  
Once upon a time, on every photo, on every video, every look in the mirror and every time people looked into my eyes, a brightness shone in them, a brightness of joy, of pure lust for life.  
Now you saw none of that, there was no brightness in them.  
The mirrors showed me what had become of me, what had become of the happy girl from before, but they did not tell me how it had come about, why there was a dullness now and not a brightness in my eyes.  
Every time I ask myself where the old me has disappeared to, why it left me like this and did not just stay with me.  
I touched the mirror in front of me, it was as cold as I felt right now, carefully stroking the face, my face.  
I wanted to see that brightness again.  
My fingers continued to stroke the mirror, hoping to comfort you and bring a real smile.  
A tear ran down both their cheeks, everything seemed to freeze, my hand detached itself from the mirror, my fingers were wet.  
A crack ran through the mirror, it seemed to cry, for a red tear left its trace on him.


End file.
